I'm all alone in my big empty house.
This is going to be so hard.

Maybe I should have bought that bottle of wine earlier...
:'(

Thank you, Rodeo Ruby Love, for summing up my entire current situation into one of the most adorable songs I've ever heard.

"And I'd like nothing more than to stay beside you, but I've got some growing up to do! I could make you a promise, but it would not be true, because I've got some growing up to do!"

Do you ever wish you could just fast forward your life?
You know just skip forward a couple of months or so.

Well I do, really bad right now, aksuly.
Fucking yuck.
:(

How is it that at age 13 I felt like being able to walk from The Wreck to the movie theater was the most awesome thing in the world? And at age 16 Orland seemed like some foreign country? But now, just 4 years later I can go on a cross-country trip and feel hardly phased at all? Fuck,I hate growing up. I miss being so ignorant, it made life so much more adventurous and exciting.

I've been in such a nostalgic mood this whole week, and I can't quite shake it off. I think maybe it's the weather changing, I always get weird around this time of year.

I've been longing for the past so hard.
I just want to be fucking 16, again, forever.
Is that so much to ask for?

I mean we've invented phones, computers, even gone into space,
and no one has the slightest idea how to alter space-time fabric yet?
I mean come on guys, this shits important for my emotional well being.

This leaves me to wonder though,
was being 16 really as great as I think it was?
Or have I just forgotten the bad and only remembered the good?
Have I just idolized it into being something that it really wasn't at all?
And most of all, will I be saying the same thing about being 20, 5 years from now?

I always feel like the present period of my life is less significant than the previous.
Which leads me to two conclusions, either...
A) Life is just a long downward spiral, you'll never be quite as great as you were the day before, and you'll certainly never be a teenager again, ever.
or
B) People just naturally only remember what they want to remember. Making the present dark and gloomy filled with all the gunk of everyday life, but after a few years it gets filtered into being this perfect little delusion that we can't quite get enough of.

I'm leaning towards B or at least hoping it's B anyway.
Either way, I need to cut this shit out.
Holding onto the past never fixes anything.

Eck working these late nights is finally starting to get to me, I'm getting old. Haha.
So far this weekend seems pretty damn promising.
Earlier tonight, sean and I went to see Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist.
It was pretty good, not as great as the book, but still adorable.

Today I'm going to go home after I get off work at 8am,
get some sleep and then we're going grocery shopping.
Tonight I'm seeing THE ATARIS (YAY!) play at the muncie music fest,
and after that I think we're leaving to head home to K-vegas.
I'm going to spend the night at my parents place and then go to apple fest tomorrow.

I'm excited to see the fam, it's literally been moooonths.
:D

This past week has been pretty insane.
It started out by me being super sick,
and not being able to do ANYTHING monday & tuesday.
By Wednesday I had forced myself to go to work and class,
and it actually made me feel better just getting out again.

Then homecoming weekend rolled around.
Friday night Josh and I booked a show at The Launching Pad.
It was Gentleman Auction House and Yeah Big + Kid State.
The show itself was fucking AWESOME,
but not very many people showed up, which was kind of a bummer.

After that I went to the twins place,
and Brittany, Sean and I sat around ate pizza,
and watched "Say Yes to the Dress" and "What Not to Wear" Haha.
It was nice just to be able to relax for a bit.

Saturday Nicole and I spent a few hour in target,
they have AWESOME skirts for 6.00 right now, I bought 3. :]
And I also bough a new master sword, and shield for my link costume.

Later that night I went back over to the twins again,
and then headed out on my own to a couple of parties.
Party number one was Becca's Birthday Bash.
Arrah's back in town for a couple of weeks,
Woodlands played a set, and Joey Patrick played his "See Orange" project.
Both were rrreally amazing, and as much as I'm convinced Arrah secretly dislikes me,
it was really comforting to hear her music again.
The new songs she wrote are wonderful, especially one called "Oh, you!"

After the bands were done playing the party got really awkward though.
There weren't very many people there, and mostly everyone there was fairly close to Becca.
I felt slightly out of place, so I took off after lingering around for a bit.

Party number 2 was Mardah's 21st.
It was themed and called "A night in the jungle with Mardah"
Everyone was wearing animal print and I had brought Brittany's Leopard print dress to slip on.
This party had a lot more people at it, but a lot of them I just vaugley knew.
It was kind of awkward showing up by myself, but I had enough good friends there it was still fun.
I played my first ever game of Beer Bong, but insisted we fill the cups w/ Mike's hard instead of beer. Haha.

Later in the night Jeremy and Derek Kuborn showed up, which was a nice surprise.
Aly, Sara, Sam and I all walked to Jimmy John's around 2 AM.
It was freaking PACKED with people, and we got a lot of 'hoops and hollas' due to our animal costumes. Hah.
It was really really nice seeing Aly again, and we had a heart to heart about a touchy subject, which made me feel a lot better.
I've really needed someone who completely understands what I've gone through lately.
That girl's amazing, I wish she'd move back to Muncie, dammit.
Eventually the night turned kind of sour when Mardah wasn't please with a kid having a photo shoot in the kitchen.
Mardah told Kenny she wanted him gone, and Kenny confronted the kid about it.
Something happened where the kid ended up touching Kenny's face in some way,
and the next thing I know I here drunken Kenny screaming "DONT EVER FUCKING TOUCH MY FACE!!"
It was about 5am and I decided it was probably a good time to bail before things got too sour.

Today was a pretty good day, relaxing.
I slept in until about 3:30, and then just cleaned.
Sean and I finally went grocery shopping.
I'm stoked to have food again. Haha.

Well it's 7 am, and I'm getting off work.
G'night.
<3

I see my attempt at "bringing this shit back" has failed miserably.
sigh, it was worth a shot.

My life has been fairly ridiculous as of lately.
Emotions freaking all over the place.

I seem to almost always feel anxious or uneasy about something,
but I can't quite figure out what it is quite yet though.

LiveJournal is such a tricky concept.
I'd love to sit down and pour my heart out about everything that's been on my mind lately,
and just to let the whole world into this mess of things I've been gathering up.
But at the same time I know that's a TERRIBLE idea,
and in the one place I should be able to express any thoughts/feelings I have,
I know it'd only land me in a world of shit.
So I always find myself saying nothing at all about what's REALLY happening in my life in these updates.
Oh, lj you tricky bitch you.

Long story short,
someone really needs to just die, seriously.
It'd make everything so much better.
Just take one for the team, dude.

wowwy wow wow.

I haven't updated this is literally forever.
My life has been pretty crazy since the last time I have.

Lots of bad decisions/drama/other crazy things.
But I don't really want to go into detail.
Everything's better now, and that's all that matters, right?

Sean and I moved in together!
For the most part, it's going really well.
School's been fairly rad also.
Anatomy is rediculously hard, but so interesting at the same time.

As of right now, everything is fairly awesome really.
I ride my bike to class everyday,
I'm working two campus jobs,
And I'm drinking an "Ol' Glory" America's Best Energy Drink. Haha.

The only thing that really sucks is my computer is fried. Boo, big time.
Apple's having a big conference today though, and it's rumored they may be releasing new macbooks.
I have my fingers crossed that something new and sweet will come out for me to buy! yay!

After I get a new computer I might start updating the photo blog again, awasteoffilm, so keep an eye on that.
I got a sweet new digital camera too, so that's exciting.

Does anyone still read this anyway?
If you do, you should comment, and update your lj for me to read.
Let's bring this shit back. Haha.

:D

Due to my overwhelming boredom with LJ,
I've created a sort of side project for myself.

I stole the idea from the "Featured Journals" section earlier tonight.
There's a group where the users post one picture of their life a day.
I thought the idea sounded neat, and after reading the description I was sold.
However, I'm sick of communities taking over my friends page.
So I went ahead and just made my own journal for this project.

awasteoffilm

I'd be thrilled if someone else wanted to do this project with me,
I just think it'd be neat to compare each others pictures over time.
And I can't even imagine the coolness factor of digging it up ten years from now.

If you need a little more convincing here's what made me want to do it:

Why do it?
Taking a photo a day is a big undertaking with big payoffs. Here are just a few reasons why you should consider doing it: Imagine being able to look back at any day of your year and recall what you did, who you met, what you learned… (Often we find it hard to remember what we did just yesterday or even last night, let alone a whole year ago!) Your year-long photo album will be an amazing way to document your travels and accomplishments, your haircuts and relationships. Time moves surprisingly fast. Taking a photo a day will make you a better photographer. Using your camera every day will help you learn its limits. You will get better at composing your shots, you’ll start to care about lighting, and you’ll become more creative with your photography when you’re forced to come up with something new every single day.


AND BTW:
I just got the biggest craving in the world for McDonalds Sausage Gravy & Biscuits.
They need to bring that shit back, pronto.

<3

:)

I should have done that months ago.
Silly me.

I've come to realize that if I were able to make it by just by booking shows for the rest of my life I don't think I could be any happier. Sure, there's not much money in it. Sure, it's a lot of stupid tedious hard work. Sure, it can get really depressing when things don't go right. There's just something about that feeling you get when you get that msg back from that band you've been dying to book, or hearing from someone that they're so excited about a show that you put together.

These past two months I've finally had something to pour my heart into, an outlet for my spastic creative impulses, finally a way to give back to the music scene thats basically shaped my entire life.

I love doing this, and I really hope I can keep doing this forever.
Just eventually bigger and better. Bigger bands, nicer venues, more kids.

It's been so long since I've had anything that I love doing so much that even in the wee hours of the night, when I'm well aware I have class the next day, I just can't seem to pull myself away from.

I love dreaming big
<3

Now if only spring would hurry up and fucking get here I'd be the happiest girl in the world.

Oh and a shameless plug:
Tomorrow is my second show ever (wish me luck!)
-Vixen Trolley
-Jack Hood
-Kurt Rambis
-St. Vlasco
-Johnny Nobody

April 4th (we only have around 90 tickets left! woo!):
-Kris Roe of The Ataris
-Rodeo Ruby Love
-The Ready Set
-My Hidden Track

August 29th, NERD FEST!
Cute nerdy synth pop bands,
and if you come in nerd attire you'll get a dollar off!
woo!

Thank you everyone for supporting me through this.
<33!

Being twenty still seems to be going fairly well.
The last couple of weeks have been nothing but a huge blur of
parties, shows, and werkin' and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Exccccept for the fact that I randomly got sick as hell,
I think it was Saturday morning when I first woke up,
but it hasn't stopped me from living it up though. Haha.
The only problem is I can't stop coughing/sniffling,
and I think I'm starting to infect all of my friends. woops.

Let's just hope I can make myself better by this weekend.
I've got some really amazing plans that can't be spoiled.
:D

Other things:
March 6th will be my next show
-Vixen Trolley (The Bear!)
-St. Vlasco (Indianapolis indie/acoustic)
-Jack Hood (Muncie indie/acoustic)
-Kurt Rambis (Indianapolis Indie Rock)
-Johnny Nobody (New York Indie Rock)

J102 is laaaaaame.

This has been the most fantastic birthday I've ever had.
The show went over sooo well, (thank you everyone that came!!!)
Then some random ass kid threw me one kick ass birthday party,
afterwards Sunshine Cafe and then cuddling with my boy. Awe!

Yep it was pretty much everything I wanted out of my birthday.
And it's really pretty much just getting started.

Being 20 is so much better than 19.
:)

Today's Nicole's Nineteenth Birthday!
So far it's been pretty fantastic.

-Photo-ops while working night staff
-Drinking XXL Monsters/Red Bull
-Backstreet Boys
-Dancing in parking lots
-Eating so many Ihop "all you can eat pancakes",
that I honestly considered barfing so I could eat some more. Haha.
-Staying up until the wee hours of the morning.

Ohhh birthdays. How I love them, even when they arn't my own.

Other than the fact that it's February 6th everything else pretty much sucks today though,
I feel like we're living on some gross planet where everything is just wet, constantly.
I can't remember the last day that Muncie actually looked at all pretty,
and that I could walk to class without getting the back of my jeans soooaked.

I have class starting in a couple hours,
then I'll be in class until 9:30 ish tonight.
Then I have to come home and do tonnnnns of J102 homework that's due tomorrow.
I'll probably be up typing stupid citations and shit until 5 or so. eccck.

I'm considering chopping all my hair off real soon,
like how it was three or so years ago. good idea, bad idea?
I want to know what you guys think.

:)

Busy.

Busy.

Busy.

Who knew promotion was so much work?
I've been spending like 75% of my time working on these two shows.
I'm just hoping all of my hard work finally pays off.
I'm getting a little worried about my birthday though. :\
A bunch of my friends have to work, which sucks real hard.
But I think it'll still probably be a good time, I hope so anyway.

The Ataris thing is slowly starting to come together.
I set up an account so people can order tickets online,
and the physical tickets should be coming in the mail in a couple of days.
I've already booked The Ready Set to play with them,
but we still need one more awesome opening act for it.
Rarg,

Other than promotion stuff, life in Muncie has been fairly normal.
Going to lots of shows, the occasional party every now and then,
I'm suppose to be going to one with Kasey tonight,
but I'm just not really in the mood to go anywhere.

Things between Sean and I have been absolutely amazing.
I seriously love that boy so much, he's great.
We havn't seen much of each other in the last month or so,
we've both just been so busy with other stuff going on.
BUT we signed a lease together last week, and I couldn't be more excited!
Our lease starts August 1st and lasts until July 31st.
Our apartment is sooo cute! It's tiny, but in a good way.
It's really close to campus/the village/and the launching pad which will be stellar.
We're both real pumped about it and can't wait to start buying stuff to put in it. Haha.
Awe!
<3

Classes have been alright, nothing too hard, but not spectacularly easy either.
J102 blows, but I work every tues. night, and assignments arn't due until Wednesday,
so it's nice to have that time to get all of that taken care of.
The final project is going to rough, but I think I'll be alright.

I can't wait to see all of you this weekend,
and I really hope that most of you can still come, It'd really mean a lot.

Love. Love. Love.

I'm pumped about this week,
here's what I'll be doing.
:D

FIRDAY & SATURDAY:</b>





TUESDAY



Next Week will be the showing of one of the most emotionally intense films you may ever witness. The Sweet Hereafter will be showing Tuesday Night at 9:30pm in the new David Letterman building Screening room 121.


TUESDAY LATE NIGHT/WEDNESDAY MORNING

I get out of work at 3:30 AM and then we'll be kicking off Nicole's birthday with IHOP! Come join us for some late night fun / amazing food!!



WEDNESDAY

Nicole's 19th birthday!



FRIDAY

Birthday / Lunch Box Promotions Launch Party!



Possible after party?

SATURDAY

My 20th Birthday!



:)

I got it finalized!


THE ATARIS
April 4th. 7:00PM
The Launching Pad.
Kris Roe playing the entire "Blue Skies..." album acoustically.
$10 pre-sale, $12 at the door.


Opening Acts
-The Ready Set
-Defy the Endeavor
-1 Other TBA


I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED!
Who's all coming!?

OMFG.
This whole booking/promoting Lunch Box thing may be already getting way huger than I ever imagined!
I just fucking booked THE ATARIS to come to Muncie April 4th.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Fuck.
I'm SO pysched.

:))))))))

The last week has been crazy hectic, but wonderful in the same sense.
I'm now the co-owner of a promotion agency called Lunch Box Promotions,
I've been spending tons of hours everyday in the graphic arts lab,
I've been juggling j102 homework and finding sources left and right,
annnnd I've been booking this show the entire time.

One of my favorite bands just joined our birthday show though!
My Hidden Track from Indianapolis, they're cheesy pop punk, but fun as hell.
Also a band from New York called The Age of Rockets signed on too!
I'm so excited about this, and everything coming up with Lunch Box.
I'm dreaming big, and I absolutley looove it.

Can't wait to see all of you on Feb 8th.
Who's all still planning on coming?
<3

Bridges are being burned like it's going out of style.
This Story broke up a couple of days ago, and if you know me it's kind of a big deal.
I love all of those kids a lot, and some of them are taking it a little hard.
Now that the band isn't together lots of them are considering moving out of state.
I know Gavin, Ian, and Cody are considering moving rrreal soon.
I seriously don't know what I'm going to do without them here,
they pretty much ARE Muncie to me right now. haha. lame.

Then there's the whole Brittany situation.
Yes I am sorry for calling Leroy a dick,
He's not a dick, he's actually a really cool guy,
when he's away from her anyway.
But I'm not sorry for being hurt/angry/upset.
It's not right for your best friend to just drop you like that.
I mean I hung out with her like twice all last semester,
twice isn't good enough when you live 3 doors down. (haha, it makes me giggle every time)
I wouldn't have been sooo bothered by this if those two time of hanging out weren't so weird.
It was like we weren't allowed to do anything fun at all.
No drinking. No hanging out with other boys. No going to shows without him.
It was just so weeeird, and un-brittany like.

So I've just decided to avoid the whole situation for now.
Me and my mom talked about it over break,
there was one time in particular where she said to me
"You just need to think of how much she means to you as a friend, right now."
So I though about it long and hard, for a few days.
Then came to the conclusion that those two times that she was my friend last semester,
and those two times that we did hang out, did not do justice to all this shit we've been in.
Then, like a sign from above, she txt'd me right then asking me to apologize again.

And much like the twin towers falling within hours of each other, apparently so do twin-friends.
Nicole has done the right twin thing and taken Brittany's side in all of the matter,
so that's just another bridge burned there, a very unfortunate bridge to lose however.

So as many of you may have guessed, things are a little weird here at the good ol' woodworth.
It's kind of hilarious when you step back and look at it.
I'm trying to eliminate any awkward face-to-face situations with them,
so I've been James Bonding around the dorm for the past couple of days.
I've gotten really sneaky with it too, haha.
I take strange back doors out, I hide behind corners, I bury my face in Newspapers.
It's actually kind of fun, I feel like I'm a fugitive or something. haha.

The next bridge, which may have been burned, and if not is barely hanging in there is James.
I'm not 100% sure about this, but I think he may be mad at me.
We had plans to go see Sweeny Todd together over break.
I misunderstood and thought we were all planning on just meeting at the theater,
he thought that we were meeting at my house, and a phone call later james sounds mad at me.
Ugh. Damn my poor planning and communication skills.

Then there's a few other smaller bridges, but I won't go there.
So apparently I've got a match in one hand, and a container of gasoline in the other.
Does anyone else feel like burning our bridge?
I sure hope not, but if so, I'd rather just get it over with now. haha.

phew. okay. now that that's done with.
update on other muncie life.
So far I really like my classes this semester.
Annd believe it or not I really like J102 so far.
The prof is soooo funny, I laughed the whole entire first class,
and my topic is so interesting I cant stop reading about it.
I've already made up a huge list of books and sources to get from the library,
and so far this seems like it's going to be more fun than it is a chore.

The rest of my classes are graphic arts classes,
Computer App. (Plain software class, you know, word, photoshop, indesign, that sort of thing)
Screen Printing (T-shirts!)
Flexography (Stickers!)
Lithography (Flyers!)

They're all pretty fun, even though wednesdays are going to suck,
I'm stuck in the Graphic Arts building for five hours straight. uuuugh.

Well, I think that's it for now.
I love all of you, and hope very much so that you're all doing well,
(even those whose bridges i've burned)
<3